Panelists address sexual violence, domestic abuse in community discussion

Six expert panelists gathered to discuss the status of women and girls in Oklahoma at the Stillwater Public Library auditorium on Thursday evening. The panelists voiced opinions and concerns regarding relevant topics surrounding sexual abuse, sex trafficking and domestic abuse. Throughout the discussion it was emphasized that help is always available for those who seek it in their communities.

Leslie Clingenpool, an accomplished member of the Oklahoma Commission on the Status of Women, opened the discussion with a brief overview on what the OCSW is and some goals it aims to achieve.

"The mission of the Oklahoma Commission on the Status of Women is to advance the well-being of women statewide through education, advocacy and celebration," Clingenpool said.

She explained that the OCSW is a volunteer-led commission with 30 members that strives to improve the quality of life for women in Oklahoma. The OCSW has been working toward this goal since 1994 and is not funded by the state of Oklahoma.

Clingenpool's call to action was to encourage organizations and advocates to work alongside the OCSW to help them to create a difference within the community.

"We want communities that are truly free of abuse," Clingenpool said.

Clingenpool also shared an impressive advancement that has been made in cases of human trafficking in Oklahoma.

"I just became the first ever certified expert human trafficking witness to testify in front of a jury," Clingenpool said.

She said that this is a big step in allowing expert human trafficking witnesses to have the ability to testify in court on behalf of victims who cannot testify for themselves.

Following Clingenpool's opening, the panelists came together to discuss myths surrounding sexual abuse victims and how the community can offer support.

Claire Leffingwell, the Oklahoma state coordinator of 1 is 2 Many, began the panel discussion by identifying a staggering statistic about sexual assault.

"Roughly 60 to 80 percent of all sexual assaults are committed by someone known by the victim or the survivor," Leffingwell said. "Someone that they know, and they potentially have a trust with that has violated their boundaries in some way."

Leffingwell said she wants everyone to have skills of consent and to have the ability to advocate for themselves. She works closely with students on OSU's campus to create a change in the community.

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Mary Melton, chief clinical officer at Wings of Hope Family Crisis Services, continued the conversation by discussing timelines surrounding the disclosure of sexual violence experiences.

"Disclosure can happen a year from the sexual assault, 10 years from the sexual assault, sometimes they are an adult, and it happened when they were a child," Melton said.

She said that delayed disclosures are often caused by the fear of being victimized or not being believed and that instead of meeting victims with disbelief, the community needs to meet them with support.

"I just want everybody to understand that just because somebody does not disclose right away, that does not mean that that did not happen."

Brandi White, director of Wings of Hope Family Crisis Services, emphasized the importance of women creating a safety plan when leaving an abusive relationship.

"For women, the most likely time for them to die by homicide is when they have chosen and made that decision to leave and have expressed that," White said.

White said that for women, leaving an abusive relationship can be equally dangerous and scary, which is why they need to create a plan whether that is making sure they have a place to stay or even just having enough gas in their car.

"I would say for everyone to spend five minutes and think about how they can talk to someone about a safety plan," White said.

White explained that creating a safety plan is an important step because anyone can do it to help themselves or a loved one, not just professionals.

Janet Fultz, director of the Payne County Youth Shelter, shared a common theme that she sees within the victims, especially teenagers.

"If a teenager shares with one of my counselors that they have been victimized we are required to make those reports," Fultz said. "That's a real barrier for young people."

Fultz said that for teens, reporting their sexual violence experiences can be challenging because of their young age and their fear of people knowing about their experience. She said that this can cause a tough obstacle and help is always available for victims who come forward.

Jimmy Widdifield, project director of the TTA Grant for Child Abuse Professionals, told the audience to know their values and beliefs in hopes to destigmatize sex.

"We need to start destigmatizing sex and sexual behavior, know what your own values and beliefs are," Widdifield said.

Widdifield said that conversations about sex should be welcomed and had.

"We need to have clear and direct conversation with children as young as 3 and as old as 18 and into adulthood about what our expectations are around sexual behavior," Widdifield said.

While there is still much more of this conversation to be had in the community there has been improvement. White said that when she began this work she would never have imagined openly having a conversation about sexual violence at the public library.

Trish Ranson, the facilitator of the discussion, shared her hopes of this conversation continuing to grow in the community.

"We believe that we can be positive and we can work toward creating a better community, tonight is proof that we can gather," Ranson said.